Well… I’m not sure what possessed me to go see a 3-hour art film with no words, but that’s what I did tonite. Went with some of my boyfriend’s co-workers to see “Cremaster 3″ at the Castro Theater, and I would not wish it upon my worst enemy!!! I was so ready to walk out after the first half hour. I’ll admit that the movie was full of creative imagery, but seriously. I’m not going to even TRY to pretend that I understood what it was about. My boyfriend guesses, “I think the bar represents the female reproductive system, and when the guy is building that tower and those people are waving streamers out the window, it’s like the creation of a child, you know–the DNA.”

But here’s what *I* got out of the movie: There are giants living on an island……Zzzzzzzzzzzzz……Pastel-colored cars are ganging up on one little black car until it is completely demolished…..Zzzzzzzzz… Somewhere, a woman is cutting potatos with her feet……….[short nap here] Zzzzzzzzz…. A man’s teeth come out of his butt as four other men watch… Zzzzzzz…..

Maybe I have to be an “artist” to understand it, but personally, I think that people only pretend to like this stuff so that they can seem smart and cultured. I used to have to write reviews for local art shows, and I hated it. I’d look at a painting and think, “It’s a sad man walking down a street. Maybe he’s hungry and looking for a Jack In The Box.” And the two people next to me would be analyzing the painting to death, saying things like, “This is so powerful… I feel as though the different shades of black in the man’s hat are symbolic of his struggle to maintain a clean soul in this evil society. Notice that his mustache matches the cloud in the backgroud, perhaps symbolizing the unavoidable doom that is life.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME, DUDE?! Yeah, call me uncultured and tell me I’m too shallow and/or stupid to understand art, but at least I’m being honest and not blowing smoke up anyone’s ass.

Went to the bars last nite, and who should I run into but that crazy Julie, aka MISS CONDUCT! I haven’t seen Julie since like 1997 when I was SEVENTEEN! Here is an ugly picture of the two of us from last nite. Julie is showing off her superb modeling skills. I look like I’m trying to grab her boob, but I’m missing it by a mile.

She is probably going to kill me for posting that picture, but I’m getting back at her for being the worst non-paying bidder who owes me like 928374982 dollars on eBay, hahaha!!! Can you believe this is the same chick who looks all serious in those Lip Service ads? JULIE I’M BLOWING YOUR COVER!!!

Okay… I used to make fun of people who showed off pictures of their fucking cats, but then again, I used to also make fun of people who had Livejournals. Here goes!! Meet Maus, the love of my life!
Maus at six weeks…

More!