So yesterday was our official move-in date for the new loft. I thought it was going to be the most perfect, romantic day ever, but it was far from that! First, Kevin found out he had to be at a convention for his work till late at nite, so I was pretty much stuck moving by myself all day. Then he got sick from drinking the faucet water (said it tasted like paint thinner) and was dizzy and cranky for the rest of the night. We decided to drive around and get something to eat, but then realized that we weren’t familiar with the neighborhood and had no idea where to get food at 11:30 at nite. Oh, and the worst part is… our carpet is green. We ordered black carpet, and it looked black at the store, but it turns green when the light hits it. So now we have to spend about $500 to get it dyed JET BLACK because green is really gross.

But overall, GOD I AM SO HAPPY!!!! I love the place soooo much. From the upstairs window, you get such a pretty view of downtown. Okay, KIND of. It’s a bit obstructed by the adjacent building, but um, you can see the top half of the tall buildings and it’s really pretty. And I love that New House smell! And everything is so sweet and cozy like Melrose Place, minus the having sex with your neighbors part. And I don’t miss my roommates one bit. We still need to find people dumb enough to rent out the rooms in our old house, but no one would be crazy enough to respond to an ad that said:

ROOM FOR RENT
Beautiful 5-bedroom home in suburban neighborhood
lawn, backyard, 3 baths
Must be willing to live with 2 unemployed stoners and a cokehead (and their dogs)
Everything you buy will be broken before the week is over
Food and beer must be hidden at all times, lest they mysteriously disappear

Eeeew, I got a big sloppy spider bite on my hand! It’s swollen and throbbing and hurts like a motherfucker. My dad thinks I’m going to wake up all buff tomorrow morning and start climbing the walls in a red leotard. I’ll be sure to keep you posted when that happens.

IT’S MISS GUY’S BIRTHDAY TODAY! LET US ALL OBSERVE A MOMENT OF SILENCE TO HONOR THE GODDESS.

We took kitty to get his shots today. He cried like a baby in the car; then when we got home he took a shit on the rug. Of course, I ended up stepping in it with my bare feet. You ever notice how when it’s YOUR baby, it’s not as gross as you would imagine it being? One of the grossest things that ever happened to me was when I babysat for my high school teacher’s kid, who wasn’t old enough to wipe his own ass yet. This didn’t occur to me while he was pooing, but when I heard the toilet flush and little Sheldon yell my name, I prayed to god that it was for ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD but to get his butt wiped!!!! “Please god, let him be calling my name because he needs a glass of milk, or perhaps a cookie, or maybe even a fresh roll of toilet paper.” Needless to say, it was not my lucky day. Not only did Sheldon not know how to wipe his ass, but he had shit on the floor on his way to the toilet. I didn’t notice this until after I had stepped on it and it had oozed thru my fishnet stockings. Sheldon pointed and said, “Watch out, Amy!” but I played it cool.

I think I ended up getting paid extra that night.