Message from Patrick:

dear shrinkle

i’ve been chosen to photograph a feature for an upstart magazine in LA, vodka mag. it will debut in october and the theme will hint at a halloween motif w/o overtly saying “halloween theme”. i’ll tell you the details later. basically i thought of you and i’d like to hire you to do the clothes for the entire spread. i think this would be a great opportunity for both of us, finally. hehe. well if you’re interested i’ll fwd you the email and if you’re still interested after that then let’s get crackin.

on the verge of spontaneous combustion from freebie photoshoots, i’ve completely cleared my slate for august and am focusing all my energy to this assignment. talk to me. bye

always,
p

For the record, you guys!!!!!! WE DID NOT REALLY HOLD OUR POO IN FOR FOUR DAYS!! We used the bathroom as soon as we got there when the toilet was still kind of clean, and then we held it in AFTER that! So it was really more like two or three days of not pooing!!! Which isn’t such a grand accomplishment, considering my friend Tina can hold it in for an entire WEEK!

Going camping. See you guys on Monday! XOXO

Took my family out to dinner tonite, but arrived in Milpitas an hour early. So I went to the mall there for the first time in forever and was dismayed to find…………..they had painted the mall BROWN, YELLOW AND ORANGE!!! I wish I’d taken pictures, because this shit must be seen to be believed. Anyway, neither words nor photos can describe the feeling of doom one feels upon entering a building where the floors are made up of brown and yellow squares and the ceiling and walls are painted orange. I seriously can’t believe this shit. They spent the past few years renovating the mall, and THIS is what they came up with?! What’s wrong with leaving it WHITE?! I felt like I was at Winchell’s donut shop. And the sad part is that they spent money on this renovation, and the decision to paint it those colors was probably made by an “expert.” SAD! It wasn’t even terrible in a Bobby Trendy kind of way either–it was just plain terrible. No mall has ever made me want to die as much as this one did!!!

But that didn’t stop me from going on a shopping spree!! I bought lots of bling bling!!! Photos will be posted tomorrow so you can yell at me for spending all my hard-earned cash on shit I don’t need. But wait, I NEEEED all those rhinestones necklaces from Bebe, REALLY I DO!!

I got hit on in the food court by a Justin Guarino lookalike. Gross!!! I think the worst question any stranger can ask you is, “So… what would you categorize yourself as? Is there a name for the way you dress?” No. “You look techno to me. I’ll bet you listen to a lot of techno!” I hate techno.

Went to Yuri and Naomi’s birthday party last nite, and can you believe I WAS ONE OF THE MOST SOBER PEOPLE THERE?! Whoa, that NEVER happens. But I’ve been learning to control myself and say, “No thank you!” a lot more. I only had three beers and a redbull/vodka the entire nite. Yay for Shrinkle!

Anyway. I am going to kill the next fricking person who pulls my hair and asks, “Are you wearing a wig?” And even if I WAS wearing a wig, wouldn’t it be rude to pull on it?! But that is not half as annoying as people who ask, “So what do you do?” and then when I tell them, ask again, “No really, what do you do for a JOB?” Pardon me, dude. Just because I don’t wake up at 6 in the morning to sit at a desk surrounded by brown walls (like my sister, HAHA, Hi Tu!), doesn’t mean I ain’t workin’ hard to pay the fuckin bills. I shoulda smacked the guy who said, “Damn, lucky girl! You don’t even have to work, and your man just takes care of you!” WHATEVER ASSHOLE.

Oh, and one more thing. Have you ever been to a party where people you’ve never met know a whole lot about you? Like a stranger comes up and says, “I like that skirt with the tie that you made! And is your pillow really named Chumpy?” and you kind of look over you shoulder to make sure there isn’t a guy standing there with cue cards. Anyway, Friendster ended up being the culprit… “I recognize you from your profile on Friendster!!” HOW DORKY.

Overall, it was a fun party. Here is a picture. Notice how Sarah manages to put her arm around Lisa… but without actually touching her. Genius!

Me and Marcy lookin’ classy at Ozzfest!

The Miller Lite plug was NOT intentional! But maybe they’ll give us free stuff anyway if we send em this picture?