Aug
31
2009

I’m breaking up with you, Grocery Outlet

Dear Grocery Outlet,

I am sad to inform you that I’m no longer in love with you. I know that you must do what is best for your business, but to be honest, your classy new “makeover” just isn’t my style. I miss your deflated balloons, dented cans of Campbells soup written in Chinese, the occasional wild bird flying around, sticky floors, hungover employees, customers milling about in shower caps and fuzzy slippers, and of course the $1 value bin full of obviously-tampered-with pregnancy test kits. Did you really have to get rid of the big faded rainbow from your storefront sign? Or replace all the stolen mismatched shopping carts with shiny new ones printed with your own logo? Your newfound lack of hilarity saddens me.

Well I guess the poo-shaped candles I saw yesterday were pretty all-right, but I don’t know if that’s enough to keep me coming back.

So my dear Grocery Outlet, it was fun while it lasted but it’s time for me to move on. It is a sad day for us all.

XOXO
Amy

EDIT: OH! MY! GOD!!!! Apparently Grocery Outlet is on Twitter, because I just got this message:

WOW! I am amazed and impressed. I may have to reconsider the breakup….

Written by shrinkle in: gross-out of the week | 46 Comments
Jun
15
2009

Gross-Out of the Week

As promised, I bring you another edition of “Gross-Out of the Week!” featuring this week’s favorite finds from Oakland’s scariest supermarket, Grocery Outlet.

Welcome to Grocery Outlet! We have everything your family needs. (WTF the vampire bling, top right)

Michael Phelps aisle of shame. Ouch!

I’m sorry it had to end this way, Michael Phelps. We still love you!

How much for the bird?

Written by shrinkle in: gross-out of the week | 32 Comments
May
17
2009

Grocery Outlet

Today I’d like to give a shout-out to my favorite Oakland discovery, “The Grocery Outlet!” Affectionately called “Gross-Out” by the locals, this amazing discount supermarket is a treasure trove of weird discontinued shit in flavors/sizes that just didn’t work out for one reason or another.

Hilarity ensues the minute you walk thru the door. The cashiers are totally hungover and out of it, and everyone shopping here looks like they just escaped from a mental institution. I fit right in!

You never know what you will find here. Campbell’s soup labels written in Chinese, Christmas flavored Cliff bars, a gallon-sized bucket of nacho cheese, sad deflated Valentines Day balloons. Kevin was feeling experimental and bought “Clove” flavored Tom’s of Maine toothpaste. That ended up being a huge mistake, because the “clove” smelled a lot more like chorizo. And it must have invaded his body because I could smell chorizo secreting from his pores for the next two days!

Our biggest score yet? This colossal Rice Krispie Treat SHEET! I wish I’d photographed the back of the package, but it’s too late now because Kevin and Brett devoured that thing in two days flat. The back had pictures of how you can use it in place of a birthday cake.

You never see the same thing twice at Grocery Outlet. So stay tuned, as I will keep you updated on my amazing finds! (This is what happens when you move to a new town and don’t have any friends here!!)

Written by amy in: gross-out of the week | 78 Comments