Congratulations, Stumpy! This picture fills my heart with butterflies and rainbows! Love love love!
She’s such a good mom. She never lets baby out of her sight. He will surely grow to be a fine gentleman!
Love at first sight. For real.
Raccoon kisses
Now that we’re done ooh-ing and aah-ing over the cute pictures, I should probably mention that I almost got killed by Stumpy the night I took these photos! Our back porch light had burned out, and it was pitch black outside. Thinking the raccoons were long gone, I stepped out for a bit. Within seconds, I heard a loud hiss, and Stumpy (who is about the size of a house) came charging at me baring her fangs! I screamed like a girl and ran around in circles, not knowing where to run because she was blocking my path to the door.
My choices were:
1: Stay cornered on porch and let her maul me to death, or
2: Run like the wind TOWARDS her to reach the door behind her and risk being mauled to death on my way.
I picked #2 because it offered me a higher chance of survival. I ran like lightning, and she was soooo close on my heels the whole time, making this crazy barking sound. My heart was beating fast and I saw my life flash before my eyes (okay, I’m sort of exaggerating, but it was still scary)!! When I finally reached the house and slammed the door behind me, I sighed a breath of relief. I walked back to my desk, and BAM! There was Stumpy’s giant toothy face in the window. When she saw me she started banging on the window and making this scary screeching sound. Then she tried to (I SWEAR TO GOD I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP) lift my window panes up to get inside. I was jumping up and down screaming, and she was screaming right back. Yup, those raccoons sure are sweet.
Kevin replaced all the bulbs outside, but I’m still too scared to ever leave the house after sunset!
Black Mike made fun of me for being scared. But then two days later, he got a really good scare from a mama and baby raccoon hiding in the bushes by his apartment complex. Ha!!! See what happens when you make fun of me? I didn’t feel sorry for him one bit!
But for serious, they’re everywhere now, so be careful out there at night, kids!!
Hahaha, this totally made my morning!
Raccoon Kisses to you my dear.
-Cosmic
Hehee, and it totally made my night… until she tried to kill me!!! :-O
I actually laughed out loud. What an awesome story! I would have done the same thing as you. LOL. I love raccoons too…but they are scary, crazy and giant!
Cute pictures, even though you almost died! LOL!
I know. It seems so unfair that nature had to make them soooo darn cute and cuddly looking, except you’d die if you actually tried to cuddle with them. :-(
Your comment was blank! :-D
My link got stripped out and then it wouldn’t let me delete the blank comment. Ah well.
Oh weird!! I’ll have to look into why my blog does that so I can fix it. It’s probably some anti-spam thingie. I’m still learnin’! :-D
I just laughed until I cried a little at work reading that.
You laugh at my pain! ;-)
OMG! I’d be scared out of my wits! This is why I usually hate nature! It sounds awful, but nature has treated me badly and I barely leave the house!
All in all, nature is scary.
Oh man, I just have to say that your comments always make me laugh out loud! I feel the same way sometimes. I’m a nature wimp!
Awww!! Your comment made me feel warm inside! I’m usually not a funny person. How nutty!
I’m just anti-nature…I’d rather cement my feet and get thrown into the ocean than go on a nature trail. I’d cry if I saw a snake 100 feet away from me!
And omg! My icon from my LJ is posted here! I need to change the default more often.
LOL
raccoons are scary……but so cute!
I know! It’s so unfair that they have to be so cute yet so vicious!
Aw that’s cute, and wow that’s a crazy story!!
This made me think of you…
Aw the picture didn’t work because it said I have to log in with a password! :-}
Darn, it’s a Raccoon Poppins tank top from Mod Cloth!
They’re own babies turn on their mother at a certain age. They also carry many diseases & parasites naturally. So please let’s not get nibbled on by Mama Stumy.
Yeah I heard about the roundworm and rabies, but WHOA! I didn’t know they turn against their own mamas. Bad baby! Bad!
Ah, cute little bastards, safely secured behind protective glass. In another millennium or two they will evolve glass-cutting nails, and all your nightmares will come true.
Fortunately you will be dead by then.
p.s. What’s up with this new comment section design? It is alien and uncomfortable to me.
Really? What’s weird about it? I got tired of LJ and wanted to switch over to my own blog entirely. But I still post the first part of the entry at LJ for now to get people accustomed to coming over here.
I thought commenting here would be easier since anyone can comment. Whereas with LJ, people who don’t have an LJ account never felt comfortable commenting. I think it’s more fun leaving it open to anybody. What’s uncomfortable about it? (Not asking in a prissy way, just curious if there’s anything I can change)
Oh, not much, I was mostly just being hyperbolic. You know… for the purposes of funny. But it was mostly just having to type in my name and e-mail address before commenting that was just sort of irksome. The inconsequential inconveniences of the idle affluent.
they look so cute! but wow, I’m scared now with your story! I’m glad you made it safe to your house!! :D
I’m so proud that I lived to tell the story too, haha! :-D
Glad you are safe! Now that was said, that just brought tears to my eyes from laughing. I was not expecting the near death experience after seeing those sweet pictures. You need night vision googles so you can once again feel safe at night.
I don’t think night vision goggles would be enough. I’m not leaving the house without a full suit of armor!!!
Oh. My. God. At first I screaming about how cute they are in the first picture (seriously; http://cuteoverload.com!), then I read the story and remembered what nearly happened to me last summer, and the cuteness factor wore off a bit. Did you know that raccoons are more vicious than possums?? So many are afraid of possums (apossums?) because they are ugly, scaly, and with rat-like tails, but truth be told, raccoons are more likely to hurt you/give you rabies than possums.
Still…..they are very cute. :D
Hey Jennifer!!!
What happened to you last summer?
And oh my god, YES! The first time I saw a possum on my porch, I was pretty scared, thinking it would kill me. It ended up being more scared of me than me of it! I did my research and was so sad to learn that a lot of people kill possums out of fear, when really they are the sweetest angels. It’s those darned raccoons you gotta watch out for!!
Good hearing from you, btw! :-)
XOX
Amy
Ha-ha! I’m an idiot and didn’t explain myself. I lived in this house at a fairly green part of town, and there were creatures EVERYWHERE, including a family of raccoons, two of which lived in the damn storm drain outside. One day, while Jeff and I were out and about, his brother (who lived with us) called to say that this tank of a raccoon had PLOWED through one of our walls where a 100 year-old chimney was, and was sticking her claws through the gigantic hole, trying to get through. We nearly shit ourselves when we saw the hole (I cannot find a picture of it at the moment, but you could fit a bowling ball through it).
Once the landlord found out, he called pest control to have her killed. Luckily, we were able to trap and safely relocate her to a nearby woods before anything happened. Not the best idea to move or disrupt wildlife, but at least now she can live out her raccoon days climbing trees instead of chimneys. :*)
It’s good to be back on the net! I have my months where I am on hardly at all (I get so wiped out from work), but I’m glad I have things like LJ that help me to stay in touch.
BOWLING BALL!! Oh my god. The scary thing about raccoons is that they’re REALLY smart too. The raccoons here know how to use doorknobs and how window panes work. So I’m paranoid and always have to triple check to make sure everything is locked at night!
I was going to warn you as I was looking at the photos, once there’s a baby in tow, they get MEAN! Also, the babies are crazy & totally maul animals & shit.
We got locked out of our place for an hour because these 2 raccoons were fucking on our doorstep & FREAKED OUT any time we tried to get near our door!
Haha! I saw raccoons humping on my porch last February, I think it was. They didn’t even seem to mind that I was watching! But then again, I was watching from the safety of my window.
That first picture is so cute! Ah baybeeeee. Your story made me laugh. We don’t have raccoons of course in the UK but we have badgers. They are quite big and can be aggressive. I have never seen one in RL because I live in a dirty old town.
Wow it’s just started raining so heavily here that the cats have both run to the window to watch (nothing to do with your post)
I am SO jealous that you guys have badgers! I would die of a cuteness overdose if I ever saw one.
I had a really shitty day at the office today, but this entry made me laugh so much my jaw hurts, owwie~~
How could something that looks so cute & cuddly be so horrid? Someone should have gotten it on tape, who knows it could have been a winner on America’s Funniest Home Videos ;P
Oh no! Sorry to hear you had a shitty day. Raccoons ALWAYS cheer me up, even if they are trying to kill me! :-D
omg i LOVE it. be careful with baby racoons though, that shit gets vicious!!! eesh.
Ugh, it’s so hard to believe that something so angelic-looking can be such a monster!! :-}
I think the raccoons are on your side! Make fun of you being scared the raccoons will come!
Ha! I should tell my friend that it was the same pair of raccoons and that I sent them after him! :-D
Woooooooow, very nice pics!!! They’re so cute! I feel as if was reading National Geographic, hahahaha.
“When I finally reached the house and slammed the door behind me, I sighed a breath of relief. I walked back to my desk, and BAM! There was Stumpy’s giant toothy face in the window.”
OK, I just burst out laughing after reading this and had to put my head on the table, shoulders trembling violently.
I am sorry for your bad adventure,still this made me laugh to tears!I always think of racoons as cute,furry,softy animals…but dealing with them in true life does not seem easy!
You are a very smart person!
LMFAO I’m laughing so hard I think I peed a little LOLLL