Nicole all butched out, Drew, Jessica, and Adam. Adam flew all the way from England to meet me in Utah!

The lovely brides Shine and Nicole

This celebration calls for hairbows!

Vegan donuts

Lesbian donut topper

We stayed at Hotel Monaco. I knew nothing about this hotel except that Drew said Britney Spears stays here when she’s in Salt Lake City – and everyone should trust Britney Spears’ taste! It was awesome. Free wine hour in the lobby every evening, outstanding service from extremely friendly staff. But of course we found a way to be disgusting slobs. Our room service menu kept breaking, causing the pages to go flying everywhere. This plate of strawberries sat out for 3 days. We were also allergic to something in the room that caused us both to break out in rashes, so we slept on bath towels because we were too scared to touch anything. And we went through 100 bottles of hotel lotion in an attempt to fix our rashes, but yeah that doesn’t work.

Adam and Jessica at the bachelorette party. It was a unisex bachelorette party with a male stripper for the lesbian bride – I’m not really sure how this works anymore, but that’s okay!

Drew and Jessica being attractive

Dexter and Nicole

The next day, we went walking around to look at the snow. Look how cute this is!

But the snow was too cold, so we had to have a few drinks at the Beer Hive to keep warm.

Kittens and aliens

Yes Drew, you look beautiful.

You too, Adam.

Me three!

Adam’s super real tattoo

Irish pub. I texted Drew to ask the name, and he replied, “some shit hole on main street… donno the name.”

The morning that I was supposed to fly back to California and Adam back to England, we both chickened out on flying home alone and decided to catch the next flight to Vegas instead. I know we were just delaying the inevitable, but hey, it made sense!

Hello, Vegas! This is where we first met two years ago. Not on this exact sidewalk, but you know.

We visited Joel and Danielle, and things got gay immediately.

Heeeeeey look! Danielle is a bead supply model!!

Visiting Danielle and Joel is always a lot of fun because Joel has picked up so many useful life skills from the circus that I’m determined to learn. First up: baton twirling! I know I look like shit here, but I don’t care because baton twirling makes me SO HAPPY!

This was either basic clowning, or they were trying to teach me some difficult dance moves and I got frustrated and gave up.

No explanation for this.

Thumb trickery and golden chalices

Make me dinner, Danielle!

All dressed up and ready to answer work emails!

Dinner at Yard House

My date is a big ball of hair

We went to see the show Absinthe at Caesar’s Palace. The acrobatics were pretty cool, but we didn’t understand the jokes. :-( They kept calling me and Danielle “Charo,” and everyone in the audience would laugh. But then when Penny called us Harajuku girls, no one in the audience knew what that was, and Danielle and I were the only ones who laughed. Then they pulled two guys out of the audience and told them to kiss and offered them free drink tickets if they gave me and Danielle lap dances. I think DANIELLE AND I deserved the free drink tickets for that one! :-{

I want her dress please!! But in not black.

Back at the house, just chillaxin’

Magical bromance

Cat audience

Adam and Mewni

Hello

Hair straightened, now time to make breakfast!

Danielle and Joel collect things. Useful things.

Adam can’t spell. dshetsnae to you too!

About to pour hot tea down my dress

Party time indeed.

Joel’s business casual attire

Joel bought this inflatable, remote-controlled shark to bring to his friend’s birthday party. I just have to say the video on Air Swimmer’s site is such a joke! In reality this thing moves at such a glacial pace and is so impossible to control, I guarantee you will not elicit the same reactions of shock, amazement or fear portrayed in the video. The only reaction you will get is people laughing at you because your inflatable shark is stuck in the curtains again.

Loading shark into the car

Dinner at Sugar Factory was fun, but waaaaay too sweet! The cocktails were like, pure syrup. I know, I know, that’s the point. We’re idiots and it’s our own fault that none of us thought to mention that we don’t like sweets before we all agreed to eat here haha. The mac ‘n’ cheese balls were awesome though!

Mint chocolate martini

I don’t remember exactly what Adam ordered, but it was SOOOOO sweet I don’t know how he has any teeth left.

We managed to roll ourselves out of the restaurant and head over to Cirque to pick up Joel from work. Took some touristy pictures while we waited!

Heading to John’s surprise birthday party

Hey, how’d that shark get in here?!

Everyone at the party worked for either Le Reve or Cirque. Hitler makes a tough choice.

Adam, Mukhtar, Joel, Danielle

Dinner at Holsteins in the Cosmopolitan. They have a vegan burger and it’s yummy!

Rolled up napkin is actually tiny Danielle arm.

We are totally the kind of people you want to get stuck on an elevator with.

Adjusting our stockings in the parking lot

Last day in Vegas. Adam says goodbye to his friend Mewni.

Ladytron is the best, but I can never pet her because she’s too staticky! :-(

XOXO
Amy